Self- care isn’t just something you do; it’s the way you think. It’s a way of life.
I’ve learned so much about myself these last few years. I was running on empty and my nerves were beginning to show it. Stress was rising , I had a short fuse with my husband , and I’m embarrassed to admit that I was at my whits end. From endless therapy sessions for my son , juggling my own mom guilt with my daughter , medical visits that led me to no answers, debt piling high, and lack of clarity had me feeling like I was losing myself. It isn’t easy being a career driven woman and managing everything else if you’re not practicing self -care.
My motivation was gone and I felt a loss of passion for what I did . I make people feel beautiful. I am blessed to live a life of purpose and feel so passionate about what I do for a living . But for those couple of years, I felt off. I felt fake. I was struggling with my own case of postpartum. It was hard to set my personal feelings and energy aside and translate in to something positive for the people around me .
Along the way I’ve learned to practice self – care. Motherhood is full of endless demands, rewards, sacrifices , sleepless nights, countless unscheduled interruptions and many gifts to experience. I also discovered that in order to be a great mom , you must feel great about both yourself and your life .
I know what you’re thinking….
Your’e raising babies, running a household, working a full-time job, and managing to keep your marriage alive . Trust me, I get it . It almost seems like we can barely use the bathroom in peace before we see little fingers under the door or hear ” Mommm . Mommm” It always feels like there’s never enough time in the day right ? Not to mention, time is passing so quickly and its hard to keep up sometimes.
But let me tell you something. Self -Care can be a way of life for you . Putting your best self forward requires intentional choices. Its not selfish at all . Its actually completely necessary to pour into yourself so that you can pour into others. What good is it to show up beat down and on empty? You deserve to wake up and live your life with intention. Sure it’s never perfect. But those little actions you make turn into habits. It’s a lot easier to add habits than erase them . If I can find time for self care, anyone can. It’s time to put self -care on your to-do list . You can find time to feel healthy , look great, and live a joyful life, all while juggling a family and a career .
Us mom’s have a mile high to do list right ? Almost all mothers struggle with feelings of guilt when they take away any time from their children . It’s so often I hear my clients tell me they often put themselves at the bottom of the list. Some don’t even make the list at all .
Here Are My Top Self-Care Tips
- Be Intentional With How You Start Your Day . This changes everything . This was so hard for me at first. But just like I mentioned above, little changes and effort daily compound into something greater . The more you practice being intentional with your day, the more clarity and focused you feel . I practice something called The Miracle Morning routine. These principles were taken from Hal Elrod who studied the top successful people and how they start their day . Its a book that truly changed the way I feel about how I choose to wake up and start my day!
- Give Yourself A Timeout. This is one of my favorite things to do when my anxiety rolls high. I get out my notebook and literally brain dump everything on my mind. Sometimes my brain doesn’t stop and I need to organize my thoughts. Braindump means you write everything on your mind. You create a list of everything you need to do and you prioritize that list in order . You create an action plan and you will also have to be ok with not everything being able to get done. That’s just life. Prioritize what needs to be done today and what you don’t get to can easily be pushed to tomorrow. The minute we start realizing that we can’t control everything is when things start to become so much easier. You’re doing the best you can . Stay connected to yourself . Meditate. Do something that brings you joy.
- Deep Breaths. This is what I consider to be practicing mindfulness. I do not always get to it but wow does it make a huge difference . If you have any essential oils, even better. I love lavender. Inhale and take deep breaths. Take the kind of breaths that are deep and refreshing . I often find myself doing this in my car or before I start my day. A lot of times we hold on to stress and anxiety. Remember, we can’t control everything and a lot of things happen out of our control. What we can control is how we choose to show up and be present in the moment .
- Exercise. This is my favorite way to start my day . Sometimes it happens later in the day. Sometimes it doesn’t get to happen. But when it does, I feel unstoppable and focused. Working out only brings happy endorphins and energy . I think that most people tend to tie working out into something so difficult. It doesn’t need to be a full hour or something you despise. The goal is to feel empowered and proud of yourself. The goal is to get stronger and to take it one day at a time. I workout out daily to Beachbody On Demand and I follow various 30 minute workouts. I love that I never get bored and I can take it with me anywhere. I also check in with my accountability group and have found that this has been such an incredible experience as far as reaching my personal health and wellness goals .I also have so much more clarity and focus throughout the day . It makes me feel more alive and a lot more happier and patient . Just move. Go for a walk or do something that seems fun to you . It makes all the difference. Most people will say they don’t have time. We all have 25-30 minutes. Sacrifice your favorite tv show if you have to. It’s worth it . You have nothing to lose but inches . Get your kids involved . You’re only implementing healthier habits. I have an ongoing support group here full of tips and motivation.
- Feed Your Body Well. Good food fuels your body, so make sure you eat and drink high quality ingredients. We put our kids and husband’s first. Its good for our kids to see us practicing self-care because we’re modeling healthy behavior. I’m not saying you need to go balls to the wall . I let my kids be kids and I still feed my husband his favorite foods . I’m talking about making small changes daily. The kind of changes that make you feel good . I started working with an amazing nutritionist who has shown me how to have a healthier relationship with food . Some simple ideas to make healthy eating a habit ? Go vegetarian once a week . Shop at your local farmers market for organic produce and let the kids enjoy it . Plant your own vegetables. Cook from scratch more and avoid the drive- thru . Drink water and cut out soda . Make your breakfast a consistent healthy breakfast. Take some time to plan what you’re going to keep in your fridge for the week so you can make quick, healthy, easy meals. I learned a lot of ideas and quick healthy solutions through the nutritionist I’m working with here. Her coaching has shown me that it’s about taking baby steps and truly learning to love healthy food .
- Personal Development. As a mom , it’s easy to lose yourself in the day-to-day routines of family life. I feel like I’m in the car a lot and the cleaning and cooking never ends . Between laundry and cleaning I love to apply audio in my ears. It’s made all the difference in my mindset . What you choose to feed your mind is a direct reflection of how you think . For a list of some suggestions, message me. I also love podcasts. You can find me feeding my mind with business and personal development daily. I make the time. I do not always have the time but I find it so enjoyable to listen to while driving, cleaning , or putting myself together for the day. Fifteen minutes is all it takes. The more you do it , the more you love it .
- Saying No . This has to be the biggest lesson I’m currently learning about . Sometimes the things on your to-do list are just not as critical as you think. I’ve learned that my needs come before the pile of laundry that needs to be folded. Through losing loved ones suddenly and seeing my mom battle cancer, I had a huge epiphany. We can’t do it all . The cleaning never ends . Sometimes I go a week or two before actually putting away the loads that were washed. That’s just the life of the CEO mom . Hire help . I just hired help and boy does it feel amazing. I hired a housekeeper and my own virtual assistant. When it comes to building my empire or cleaning, I choose building my business. When it comes to cleaning or doing something fun with my kids, I choose my kids. On occasion, I make cleaning mandatory for the day because it feels so therapeutic. But hiring help once a pay period totally helps . If you’re building a business like me, you have to invest to get more too . Say NO to the things that do not bring you joy. This one is the difficult one for me because I’m a go- getter and I want to stretch my rope. I’m the woman who signed up to be Girl Scout Troop Leader all while building two businesses. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and truly analyze who and what you’re letting into your life. Protect your energy . Hang out with the people who will lift you and motivate you to be better and do better. Stay away from the energy suckers.
- Keep Connected. Friendships are so important. I still have my same small circle of friends from school. We do not always get to hang like we used to, but we stay connected . Isolation can quickly creep in which is not where God wants us to be . Make sure you are purposeful with who you give your time to . I struggle in this area greatly ladies and it’s something I constantly need to remind myself about.