If You Want Change, You Have To Believe In Yourself

Our biggest fear is failure.  People can be so quick to give up on themselves, quit or throw in the towel!  Don’t view failing that way. Just because you failed at something does not make YOU a failure!! There is a difference. It’s not about the mistakes and failures you have in life, but it has EVERYTHING to do with how you handle them!! Learn and grow from your situation.  This is what determines your outcome, and determines whether you move forward in life or remain the same. commited

The ONLY way to FAIL is if YOU quit, stop, or do nothing. Instead, use these mistakes and failures as moments you learn and grow from! What can you learn from this to become better?  Some things have happened to me in my personal life lately which have reminded me how important it is to ground myself when my life seems off balance. It’s ok to step away from one thing and revisit the other that seems to be off balance. At this point in my life, I truly feel as though there is no such thing as the perfect work, life and family balance. There is no such thing as that picture perfect life. Most people paint this facade and in reality, they are the ones afraid to reveal who they really are. Your happiness matters and it feels good to be real and be true to yourself. There will be people who question you or who think their route is the way to go. There will be people who simply don’t understand and never will. Then there are the people who have no drive what so ever and want to just settle for the easy way.  There will also be the people who you once thought were your friends, yet they were nowhere when you really needed them the most.  We all are on our own journey. Just smile, run with the willing, and don’t waste your time dwelling on what didn’t happen. What works for someone else , might not work for you. The most important thing is that you keep pushing forward and don’t stop fighting for what you want or believe in.Forget the nay sayers or the opinions of others. Those will always be there. Everyone has an opinion. One thing Im learning is that I don’t have to sit around and accept those opinions and let them get to me. I am in control of my life. I choose how I want to react to situations.   There is no straight line to success with anything in life. It’s a jagged road with bumps, cliffs, twists and turns…..boy do I know this already! But if you can make it through all of that,  the destination will be BEAUTIFUL and so worth it!!IMG_0229

Take it one day at a time! Don’t be afraid to fail!! If you are not failing, then you are not GROWING! We only have one life and we should all be encouraging each other to be better and do better things in this world! The best way to succeed is to help others. Just like one of my favorite mentors says, ” The secret to living is giving.”  Never stop learning and always do more. Don’t settle for mediocrity. It all starts with being OK with making mistakes and failing. We fall, we learn from our mistakes, we redirect and we take that knowledge and use it to MOVE FORWARD. The most successful people in this world, are the ones who FAILED the most. Always remind yourself why you are working so hard and keep pushing yourself.  I know my why, do you?

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The Importance of Self Talk

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”

One of the biggest topics I enjoy talking about in my challenge groups is the power of self-talk. Self  talk is one of the most important things we should all focus on when it comes to becoming the highest versions of ourselves. When we speak negative of ourselves, we are opening up that door.

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self talk,” you can assert control over every part of your life.

Keep a positive attitude. There is nothing more powerful for self-motivation than the right aIMG_1569ttitude. You can’t choose or control your circumstances, but you can choose your attitude towards your circumstances.

Once you feel you are motivated yourself, the best thing to do is to start motivating others. But guess what? Motivation comes and goes. Its about creating the habit and seeing results in any area of your life . Thats where the motivation comes from. Positivity is contagious and there isn’t enough out there.  If people catch your passion, you’ll find it will drive you to new heights of accomplishment. Support and encourage others, be the cheerleader. Don’t be negative and bitter.

Whenever I find Im having a dark day, or a day with lack of motivation, I  choose a personal development book to begin reading or listening to. As a mom of two little ones, I don’t always get the time to sit and read a book when I want. When I do, I love it. Reading for a 15 minutes to a  half hour each morning has done so much for me personally and can do so much to help with keeping us more positive and moving in the right direction! It’s another huge piece of the puzzle that creates personal content.  Its not just about the outside, its about the inside too.”What the mind believes, the body achieves.” We have to remember to fuel our minds with positive too!

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Walking Into The Unknown

Sometimes its easy to let up and let go of whats keeping us together . Challenges are always waiting for us and we have the power of choice. We have the power to decide which way we will go.

These last few weeks have been a world wind of emotions for me. Ive had the amazing opportunity to travel fort business and meet a lot of people overcoming the unthinkable and really dig deep into the leader I am becoming. Ive been thinking a lot lately and the good thing is that my vision has never been so clear to me. It’s amazing how sometimes our path changes or something steers us in a different direction. For me, that was when my second child was born. He has taught me so much about myself and he’s still so little. I remember the day of my scheduled c section so clearly. But only the beginning to say the least. I wanted complete control . I had everything planned out. I wanted things a certain way and I wanted no formula. I thought everything would be easy the second time around. This picture is the day I was able to get Elijah transferred to a new hospital and our very first helicopter ride together. IMG_0105

My son was admitted into the NICU for 5 weeks following birth. It changed me. Doctors couldn’t really tell me exactly why my son kept losing oxygen or why he his heart rate kept dropping so much.Each day was an emotional roller coaster. The feeling each day of having to leave my baby was horrific. Yet I knew he was at the right place.  Test after test determined his heart condition he was born with had anything to do with the loss of oxygen. I still had no answers. It was all such a mess and so unexplainable. I refused to let more days go by and demanded more and more tests . I was his advocate. I questioned everything. I was lost in a dark cloud and trying to hold myself together . My mom was also recovering from breast cancer. I needed to stay strong for our daughter and for my husband who was also a mess at the time. We soon found out it was something called laryngomalacia and it turned out to be something he could eventually outgrow. We went home with my son feeling incredibly blessed, happy to have our family together, and I was scared . How was I going to manage? My life has never been the same and I know why .

I don’t like comparing my kids to other people’s kids. I don’t care if your child can read before mine or he/ she knows the abc first. I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. I go with the flow and accept each day that it is. Ive also come to find that I don’t run the days because everything can change in an instant.  I choose to surround myself with people who will be positive and not complain about life because I used to.  I used to complain about everything. I was so immature. Elijah has taught me so much about becoming someone new and never being ashamed of who I am or what I believe in. Its ok to try new things and to live. I must be accepting of my own self too.  Elijah has taught me compassion. I don’t care about anyone’s opinions of me or the mom I strive to be. Im not anywhere near perfect. Im actually a mess sometimes and have to write everything down because I will forget.  All I know is that we are all on our own journey, and our happiness is not  something we should postpone for the future. It is something we should design for the present. We must constantly try our best to remain present.

Everything is starting to change. I am amazed at how a trial can create such a heart of gratitude in me. But, I think gratefulness is the thing that I have learned a lot. I have so much gratitude in my heart and looking at life just a bit differently has been a game changer. My son is currently seeking therapy due to developmental delays. This was scary for me at first as I have one child who was always so independent and advanced from day 1. Its almost as if each day is different and all we do is try to focus on week by week. He’s made so much progress , but let me tell you, a mom never stops worrying. I need to rewind my thoughts and worries and just keep focusing on being a better mom for him. Elijah will soon be transitioning from the services he’s getting to the school district . I am doing my research and trying to find more answers. I worry about his balance issues . I worry about his walking. I worry more about the receptors in his ears. I worry about his speech and vision. I worry about everything. I am ensuring that he is getting the best care and the best resources. I love my kids so much and I choose to be here with them. This time is passing and what Ive found  most important is my sanity. I must continue to love myself too.

IMG_5231Taking care of myself both mentally and physically has helped mold me into the person I am today. I am not perfect. I struggle and I have bad days where  I just want to lose it. But I thank God every single day that I have this amazing man in my life, and a beautiful family. I couldn’t ask for anything else. But what I do know is that what one wants and seeks, one must do. We can’t sit around and ask or dwell on things. We must literally be willing to get out there and work hard for those things.

Taking care of myself has given me the belief in myself again. Self image is so important in the sense where we should continuously try to be the best version of ourselves so that we can constantly look into the future and work toward it. We must be willing to walk into the unknown . I host monthly health and fitness support groups because I know first hand that every person needs the support. Living a healthy lifestyle and striving to be fit requires mindset and belief. Having a private place to come to and share your tips, ideas and motivation has done wonders for me and I simply love just passing on the love now.

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Life is Beautiful

I can’t believe how much my life has changed in a year! Seriously! This time last year, my husband and I were getting settled into our new mortgage payment on top of having some unforeseen financial circumstances. I know it could’ve been worse, but having a new home, a legal matter that drained our finances , two young children and bills can get pretty stressful. I’ve learned that happiness doesn’t stem from how much money you make or how much time you can put into being home with your kids.   I believe we have the ability to draw out our own happiness and for everyone it may be different. I thought I was happy because I had it all. A new home, a job I love with all my heart, children , health, a loving husband,  but I felt something was missing. I was missing. I didn’t even know who I was anymore!

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The lack of sleep , the mommy guilt, the dirty diapers, and the long nursing sessions…. I didn’t even want to spend time with my husband because I was so tired. My second had and still has a habit in being extra clingy. I wasn’t used to this as my first was always so independent from day 1.  I know I sound like Im complaining and I promise Im not. I love my kids with all my heart. I cherish every single day with them even on the tough days. But when you have a child with an airway disease, you happen to be on constant ” fight or flight ” mode. I found myself feeling so negative and scared all the time . I felt guilty that I wasn’t paying enough attention to my first child. I felt so overwhelmed with trying to balance out my professional life with my home life. I questioned my parenting. As a hairdresser, clients want to know your business. A true professional says the least amount possible . I felt like I was a professional and pretending I was doing great.  Doctors and specialists appointments felt as though they were scheduled every week. I adopted the negative mindset due to al my fears and worries constantly taking over.

One day, I decided it was time to put my health first. It all started with a challenge pack . I was sick and tired of feeling so lost. I don’t care what anyone says . I know having baby is the biggest blessing in the world. Of course it is. When your second comes around, you think you have it all figured out because your like ” ok I got this ” But  I was wrong . Im learning to just ” Let go and let God “. The investment I made on myself that day has been the best investment Ive ever made on myself.

When I first started my 21 day fix program, I told myself I couldn’t do this .I couldn’t find the motivation to push play. I didn’t have time to go to the gym. When I did, I always found myself doing the same boring routine or didn’t know what to do. Not to mention, my insecurities were to the fullest . I was a constant negative Nancy and of course I would never admit that. I had zero time to plan and take action. Ultimately, I kept hurting myself. I had every excuse in the book.  When I pushed play, the kids weren’t used to it, so they wanted to jump on me. They were excited and then they wanted my attention… of course they did . You know how kids are. But I stayed consistent by staying true to my thoughts and little goals I set for myself. My kids started to look forward to seeing mommy workout. Then it dawned on me that I really needed to work out before my day officially started.  I constantly reminded myself that the real change wouldn’t happen unless I changed. I stopped making the excuses and put myself first.

This is not a selfish thing to do . I believe its essential . Im  happy and my marriage is on track again. I have more energy for my husband, my kids,and I found myself again. The balance will always be a struggle. I go through moments where everything family picis great and then all of a sudden, one area in my life needs extra attention. So i roll with it. I go along with the different seasons in my life and i prioritize whats most important each day. Im not the old person I used to be. Ive seen how bad things can change over night. Our lives aren’t promised and I don’t ever want to die feeling unfulfilled.  I believe that when you go through some of your toughest times, its up to you to use it as a bridge to walk across rather than to barricade yourself.

I think this is why being a coach means so much to me. I believe that living a healthy lifestyle is essential for optimal health and wellness. It doesn’t matter what workouts you do, as long as you move for at least 30 minutes and eat foods that fuel your body rather than deplete your energy. I don’t believe in taking medicine to control my appetite, stimulants to give me more energy, or supplements to make me lose weight faster. I believe in whole food nutrition and I know thats why I love shakeology so much. When I first signed up to be a coach, I did it for my discount .But then I found out that I was motivating others to get up and go. People could relate to me . What makes me happy is helping others see that they too can change. Coaching is about being yourself, growing to your highest potential, and simply sharing with others what this lifestyle can do . Coaching is something that isn’t easy, but the reward is greater.  Im not perfect. Im a work in progress who still tries to be controlling in my own ways. I’m working on these flaws. But I love myself and I know who I am. Im a mom and a wife who loves to help others. Ive never been so connected with the woman I am today . I love my life . Im so blessed .

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