This Stage Of Life

This stage of life.

It’s hard, you guys.
I’m talking right now to you moms who are around my age …. late 20’s to mid 30’s. You have kids. Likely two or three . Being a mom is the hardest job ever . Add in a child with sensory needs and a speech delay- some days are REALLY hard .
They probably range in age from toddlers to 7 or 8 year-olds. (Give or take a few, on all of the above mentioned stats).
In this stage of life, you are dealing with exhaustion. Mental, physical, and emotional.
In this stage of life, you are dealing with tantrums and beautiful moments … With stomach viruses. You are juggling schedules, appointments, sports , and constantly going from point A to point B.
A million balls you are juggling, and you probably feel like you are dropping most of them sometimes right ? Then guilt tends to plague you because something is eating you up inside .
In this stage of life, you are dealing with guilt. Guilt over having a career, and not spending enough time with your kids, or guilt over staying home with your kids, and not doing enough to contribute financially. Yet everything you do IS for the kids. Guilt over being too harsh with your kids. Too lenient. Guilt that your house is clean, but your kids were ignored, or guilt that you enjoyed your children all day, and now your husband is coming home to filth. Guilt. Yep.

In this stage of life, you are bombarded daily with a whole lot of decisions. Some of them life-changing, some of them not. None of them with clear cut answers. Do I vaccinate my kids? Do I not? Do I send them to public school? Charter school? Private ? Is this special needs system even good? Is this what’s best for him/her! ?
You don’t know the answers to ANYTHING, but you feel constant pressure to figure out EVERYTHING.
This stage of life is less and less about watching your friends get married and have babies, and more and more about standing by and witnessing your friends struggle in their marriage, and even get divorced. It’s a stage where you’ve got to put in the time and the effort and the work and the energy to make sure your OWN marriage stays healthy. And that’s good, but it’s hard, too.
At this point, you or someone you know has experienced infertility. Miscarriages. Loss of a child.
It’s a stage where you are buying houses, selling houses, remodeling houses, renting out your house , packing up houses.
It’s a stage where your hormones are all out of whack. You even question whether you’re bipolar . You look at yourself and you’re like wow. I definitely look different I love my battle wounds. Shall you decide to have one more ? You realize time is ticking and time goes fast !

It’s a stage where you are struggling with identity. Is my entire identity “mommy”? Is there anything even left of me that isn’t about mothering? Is there something more glamorous I could have/should have done with my life? I LOOK like a mom now, don’t I? I totally do. ( as I STARE) at the mess I’ve been trying to get to for two days!
It’s a stage where you are on a constant quest for balance, and can never find it. You think you do , but you don’t . There’s no such thing as balance friends .
It’s a stage of life where you are overloaded. Constantly. You are overloaded with questions. Your children never stop asking them. You are overloaded with touch. Someone is constantly wanting to be held, holding on to you, hanging on to you, touching you. You are overloaded with to-do’s. There is so much to do. It never ends. You are overloaded with worry. You are overloaded with THINGS. Your kids have way too many toys. You are overloaded with activities. You are overloaded with THOUGHTS (thoughts about how to not be so overloaded, perhaps?).
It’s hard.
So….what do you need to do to survive it all?

You need to ask for help.

You need to accept help when it’s given.
You need GRACE.
You need to not neglect your marriage.
You need to put your kids down for bed early.
You need to wake up EARLY to fill your cup FIRST!
Sit outside with your husband, drink a glass of wine, and have a conversation when the kids are down.
You need more girlfriend time .
You need your mom or Dad.
You need older friends, who have been there and done that. Who can reassure you that you AREN’T screwing it all up as badly as you think you are yet won’t judge u and tell you their way is best and act like they know it all.
You need to not feel bad about doing the things that make you happy.

You need to lower your expectations….then probably lower them again. But deep down your raising your bar !
You need to simplify. Simplify every single part of your life, as much as it can be simplified. Get rid of the negative and focus on positive .
You need to learn how to say “no”.
You need to practice grace .
You need to pray. Girl, you need to pray.
Finally, and maybe most importantly, you need to remember that…..
….this stage of life is beautiful, too. Like, really really beautiful. This is the stage of life where every single older person you ever meet tells you, “you’re going to miss this”. And you already know it’s true. It’s the stage where your kids love you more than they are EVER going to love you again, for the whole rest of your life. It’s the stage where they can fit their entire selves into your lap to snuggle…and they want to. It’s the stage where their biggest problems ARE tummy aches or big emotions they can yet express .

We’re not dealing with problems like broken hearts or addiction or bullying yet. It’s the stage where you are learning to love your spouse in an entirely different….harder…..better…. way.
The stage where you are learning together, being stretched together, shedding your selfishness together, and TRULY being made into “one”.
It’s the stage where you get to see Christmas, Halloween through your kids eyes, and it’s so much more fun and magical than it would be just through your own eyes.
It’s the stage of life filled with field trips, class parties, costumes, swim lessons, bubble baths, dance parties, and loose teeth. And those things are so fun. It’s the stage where you are young enough to have fun, and old enough to have obtained at least SOME wisdom.
It’s SUCH a great stage.
But, man it’s hard.
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Life Lately

I’m back!

 

The last few months have been a little crazy. We’ve had so much fun getting out with the kids this summer. But truth is, I have no idea where June and July went. I can’t believe how fast the year is flying by. You with me ?

With the kids being off from school, our usual routine was thrown off. We had an amazing summer together and I try to always remember to give myself some grace in the midst of the chaos. We even had some relatives visit from out of state which was nice.

I’ve decided to turn my blog in to a documentary of our lives with a sprinkle of lifestyle and motherhood tips. It’s therapeutic for me. Things have been pretty tough this month and I can feel myself coming out of the funk I’ve been in . On a good note, I have been introduced with such amazing opportunities that continue to show me I’m doing exactly what I’ve been called to do in my life. We also just celebrated our 8th wedding Anniversary after being together for 17 years! We’ve been through so much together and I’m so grateful for it all. We’ve both grown so much since being little teens and our marriage is beautiful . We’re both busy with personal goals and projects all while trying to make time for ourselves. He is a keeper .

First off, do you ever look at your kids and just ask yourself ” Where the heck is time going ? “

I can’t believe how fast my daughter is growing. She just started second grade . I look at her and I’m in awe with the little girl she is becoming. It seems like everything has been an argument lately and she sure enjoys making sure I understand that she is a big girl now. I just adore her and want to encourage her to be herself and speak her truth . This summer we took a break from Girl Scouts aside from having their Brownie Bridging Ceremony and camping at the zoo. Volunteering to be her Troop Leader has been an amazing experience .

I told myself that I would figure it out along the way because this is something that Ava and I can do together. Every now and then that mom guilt sets in and I think that I need to give my daughter more attention in the midst of this new extra needs journey with my son .  Our new Troop  season starts in October and I’m heading in to this new season positive and optimistic because I have one year under my belt. I’m learning as I go and this is such an amazing opportunity for our girls. I plan on delegating more with the parents , being more organized with my meetings, and creating some awesome memories with the girls!  I’ve told myself that being busy is a privilege . Being busy is good as long as you stop to smell the roses and learn to give yourself some grace along the way .

My son just started preschool. He is 4 years old and this will be his second year of school. Its been a while since I’ve shared much about our journey in here . I guess you can say I’ve been a tad paralyzed with fear and the constant reminder that everyone sure has an opinion with how they think children should be raised or their way is the right way. The reality is that my reality is hard sometimes. One thing that was really bothering me was that anytime I shared anything , I felt like people or even my husband would say ” Why are you sharing that?” or ” Well… it doesn’t look like anything is wrong with your son ” Then I would feel like I was opening up myself to opinions that I just did not feel like hearing. I’ve come to realize that I’m not alone and some other parents have bigger problems . So if you can relate at all with my journey, please be sure to connect with me!

Truth is that there is nothing wrong with my son. He has an ability is how I like to see it . One thing I find super frustrating is how long it takes to just get some answers . Not just that, but I hate that children have to be labeled to get some help . My goal is to be the best mom I can be for my kids and to put my family first before anything. Elijah’s diagnosis at three years old was a speech and language impairment and a developmental delay. That is when a lot of doors to new resources opened up for us. For the longest time, my husband and I were so financially drained with co-pays, opinions, evaluations, check ups, and worries. We have found that we are his voice and we have to do whats best for him . Not just that, but those diagnosis’ mean nothing. We treat him normal except we’re learning more and more about how important it is to be patient and more understanding to his behaviors. 

I’m blessed in the sense that I’ve been able to get my son some intervention since we was two years old. For the longest time, he was receiving early intervention, occupational therapy, speech, and physical therapy. We later added behavioral therapy too. I found an incredible therapy based preschool that is perfect for him and we discontinued therapy. Our local school district did not make it easy to get him qualified to get there and the whole process was long-  But worth it .

My anxiety has been through the roof lately because I’ve been over- thinking and playing scenarios in my head about the transition from preschool to kinder. Then I start asking myself if this district is even right for him. The biggest hurdle are the tantrums and the behavioral and sensory issues he tends to have at times. I go back and forth about seeking ABA Therapy for him . I was hesitant about whether or not I should seek such an aggressive therapy for all of us . The worst part was  that I finally decided to go for it because I do not want him to think that its ok to act the way he does when he doesnt get him way at times. He is such a smart cookie and super receptive. He understands everything you say . His attention span is super short at times, he has been having many accidents with potty training when he’s been potty trained for almost a year now , and he can get pretty defiant quick. It takes some work to calm him down. He gets loud, whiny, and will zone out when he gets over – stimulated. His vocabulary has increased and I hear him trying to say new words and sounds. He is constantly improving at his own pace and I just have to meet him where he is at.

Now I know it sounds like I’m complaining here, but this is my normal. This is what I’ve been dealing with and as Elijah’s mom, I only want whats best for him.  So after finally calling to get approved for this therapy, ofcourse my PPO won’t cover it . So I tried with our secondary insurance for him and found out they would only cover him if he has a diagnosis of Autism. This is when reality sank in for me recently. There is a possibility that my child could be on the spectrum. Now I’ve been waiting for answers for the longest time but his pediatrician and director of his school both say sure he has delays that are similar, but he does not meet that box. I personally am not ready to have another psychologist evaluate my child. I would like to give it more time because Im already doing everything I need to do to get him the help he needs. We have a consultation next month for genetic testing and that alone is a lot to think about right now .

So in a nutshell, my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place. Answers will come and either way, it doesn’t matter to me if my child gets another diagnosis . A diagnosis does not define your child and only gets them more help. But sometimes I do feel like children are over diagnosed the second a medical professional evaluates them . That’s my personal opinion.  But truth is, as his mom, I know him better than anyone. I know I sound like an in denial parent, but I’m just speaking from the heart here. This is all so new for me. He is a normal 4 year old little guy who loves nerf guns, playdoh, and tools. He loves people. He is social, friendly, compassionate, and outgoing. He even looks you in the eyes.  I feel like sometimes they just want to put a label on your child in order to open up some additional resources for them. These thoughts I have are really hard for me to explain . But time, faith, prayer , and patience is what we have. I’m so thankful for his incredible team of teachers/ therapists who take the time to talk to me and and offer comfort and tips. We have to trust the process because everyone is unique and different.

Aside from heading to the salon on my work days, my workouts and my coaching business have been an amazing outlet for me. I’ve taken a step back in the sense where I’m focusing on family and marriage before anything. My wellness is the biggest priority right now and my wellness groups mean the world to me . I love waking up to my amazing rock stars striving to be better versions of themselves and making themselves a priority too. I’m blessed with this incredible gift of helping others live healthier and more fulfilling lives too. Beachbody has changed my life for the better. I do not know where I would be if I didn’t have these incredible workouts and nutrition guidance. The old me would be eating everything in plain site and probably at an unhealthy weight. My wellness journey and coaching business is a way for me to give back and feel good at the same time. Thank goodness my husband and I are on the same page and stronger than ever. If we weren’t, I think I would literally be broken . I’m so blessed .

 

They say when you’re feeling down, the best thing to do is to turn it around and use that energy to help others.

 

Sometimes we have to remember that life can get pretty messy . That’s just how it is. Our mess is what others might be praying for. I tend to keep myself super busy and I’m learning to let go and just slow down .

 

We have so much to be thankful for and I’m looking forward to our family vacation coming up!

 

XO,

Jaclyn

 

 

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Living With A Grateful Heart

This last weekend was amazing. I had the best experience going on vacation with my husband and had some time to really catch up on my thoughts and talk the future with my husband.

For one, I haven’t had time to really blog as much much as I’d like. Between my new role as a Girl Scout Leader and juggling both of my businesses, there hasn’t been time for much.  On top of that, being a mom and wife is a full time job of its own. I am so incredibly blessed . I’ve realized that I just need to write. I need to write my heart out and share the good, bad, and the ugly. It helps with clarity and knowing it can inspire or relate to someone is just so incredible .

I’m living in this season where I’m truly learning so much about what I can and cannot handle.  For one, I do a lot . Why? I don’t know. I’m such an over-achiever , I know. I like to consider myself extremely self driven and motivated to chase after what I want.  I love doing it all.  Everything I do , I do with love and I lead with my heart . When things get tough, I fall and get back up. I try to not stress too much about the month or weeks ahead. Instead, I like to be optimistic and take things one day at a time or else my anxiety will rise.

Our trip to Cancun was amazing. It meant everything to bring my husband to this trip. For one, we deserve our time together. My marriage is a priority.  Seems like both of us are just trying to achieve our goals and provide for the babies. I do not want time to pass and wonder why my marriage fell apart. I want to live in the moment with my husband and have him enjoy the fruits of my labor too. He is my number one. None of anything I do would run smoothly if it weren’t for his support. I seriously hit the jackpot with him . Him being on this trip really helped him see why i work my tail off.

The hubby and I had a blast. Seeing him smile and tell me how proud he was of me really meant so much . I work hard. I work really hard to work on myself and help others. This was my first all – expense paid trip earned for just doing what I love by helping others get started on their health and fitness journey! It was amazing! The company I work with really spoiled the heck out of us . You see, our lives are changing. I am not who I was last year and I’ve learned that its ok to have several passions.  Our kids are growing, we are growing, and being able to experience time and financial freedom is a huge priority to me .

I’ve also learned through my entrepreneurial mindset that I should never focus on just one stream of income. I have learned that nothing in life is ever guaranteed. You have to find out what it is you love and go for it all while remaining humbled and finding a good balance between business and family.

There was a time I completely lost myself though. I thought I had it all together and figured out. I thought I had this mom job under control. Then I experienced some trauma while pregnant with my second. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. It had nothing to do with me . But my mom is my everything. I’m an only child. She IS my person . Then my son was born with some unexpected health issues and was not able to come over for 5 weeks . That NICU ride was a roller coaster followed by visits with specialists and restless nights. My world changed. I changed. Life and stress became so overwhelming to me yet it became all about the littlest of things. So much of what used to matter did not matter anymore .

All I wanted was to feel good and have an outlet aside from this new relationship I was trying to have with the Lord. Work became just work . My thyroid was out of wack. I was a mess.  I was tired all the time and at one point I decided to draw the line in the sand. No more. After experiencing my postpartum depression , I realized that I was in charge and I needed to do something.

I’ve learned that God only puts things in our lives that he knows we can handle. Sometimes we don’t know why. But there is a lesson in everything. I feel my lesson to this day was to learn to have faith, let go, and let God do his work .I am a control freak. Learning that I am not in control has done wonders for me.  Before this whole experience, I questioned the difference between religion and faith so much. I did not feel a close relationship to God until I truly needed him. That’s sad right? So common though . I have become so much closer to God and my faith is stronger than ever. I do not practice any type of religion yet I’m super spiritual in many ways.

God sent me my babies to make me a better person. I am so blessed to be a mom period. I really had no idea how religious the name Elijah was until after I had him. Elijah was a prophet in the bible who was sent to people to help them believe in God. Wow. Not a coincidence at all right ?

God sent me this incredible opportunity to serve others in ways I love to not only help myself but to help others who are struggling too . I struggled physically by being stuck in the yo- yo diet cycle. I abused my body by eating my emotions and eating all the wrong all while self sabotaging myself. I went through extremes to try to make my body look the way I thought it should look. I went through a phase where I even experimented with substances to help me cope with certain difficulties. Along the way I’ve learned that we all go through trials where we use substances to cope with life without not even realizing it . I struggled financially as my husband and I had some unexpected struggles on top of co pays and medical visits. Being a hairdresser meant that If I didn’t work , I didn’t get paid. Being with my kids mattered more than money. Emotionally, I was a hot mess. The worst part was realizing that I was taking it out on the closest ones I love by lashing out on them and shutting down .

Beachbody came into my life when I needed it the most. I’ve learned that I matter. It is not selfish to learn to love yourself and treat yourself well. Our sanity and mindset mean everything. At first I wanted to lose 50 lbs and along the journey, I’ve learned that I really just needed a healthy and sustainable life change. I learned that I didn’t have to forget about me. I reinvented myself. I am not perfect and that’t what I love about being a lifestyle coach. Becoming a coach has helped me stay accountable in many ways. I found structure in not just my life, but in my days. I have been able to improve our marriage, communicate and understand my husband better,  work on my mindset, teach my family healthier habits, and meet some incredible people. It’s so much more than just a fitness journey. Its about living a healthier and fulfilling life all while dreaming big and going after what you want. You should never be told your dreams are too big. You should never feel guilty for chasing that one thing that sets your soul on fire.

I am passionate about health and fitness because feeling healthy makes me feel whole. Being healthy makes me have more energy and continue striving to be a better version of myself than I was yesterday . It is my platform to meet other people and offer them a solution . Through my journey as a mom with thyroid nodules and a goiter at only 31, I’ve learned that I should never take my health and mindset for granted. Life is beautiful . Its about quality. If you don’t feel good, it shows. I want to have energy for my kids. I want to keep up with them and be around for as long as I can. Not just that, I want to teach them these incredible and sustainable habits that they can grow up with. Its not about perfection. Its about finding a healthy balance and eating for fuel . Its about LIVING and being present in the moment all while showing yourself some grace.

Becoming a lifestyle coach has added to my passion for helping others. I get to do what I love for a living. Coaching gives me a sense of purpose. I want to show my kids that its ok to be an entrepreneur and chase your dreams. You do not need to go out there and do what society expects of you . It’s ok to do what you love and make sacrifices to get you to where you want to go . Hard work pays off and I want my kids to grow up knowing that.  I love living the no boss life. The dreams are big yet the hustle is sold seperatly. I want my kids to always remember that their mommy was there to take them to school, pick them up, and always have the resources to create memories and experiences to do things together as a family.

This trip to Cancun was a HUGE eye opener for not just me , but for my husband! SO much is possible when you work hard and believe in yourself. My mission is to help woman crush their fears and chase their dreams all while creating a sustainable and healthier lifestyle change. My mission is to inspire other extra needs moms who have struggled with self doubt and show them that change is possible. Perfection is a joke. Its ok to fall and have a pity party for a few minutes. But with struggle comes strength .

Becoming a coach has allowed me to connect with other extra needs mom’s and help them feel good too . I’ve found that being part of an amazing community has been key to feeling like my head isn’t going to fall off. The support has been incredible. Without Beachbody, I wouldn’t be in the shape I am in today nor would I be able to find a way to earn an income doing something that fulfills my passion and purpose . I am blessed.

 

 

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A Busy Woman’s Guide

 

Are you a busy working woman who feels like she’s always strapped for time?

Are you someone who is always on the go juggling work, the kids, marriage , and everything else in between?

As woman , were often running a million miles a minute trying to attend to everyone else’s needs. We have to take care of the kids , figure out how to keep the house clean, cook and squeeze in some workouts too! It’s defintely not easy right ?!

I’m here to support you and provide some tips to make it all flow a lot easier !

Our family has experimented with different meals and we’ve found some winners that are now in our weekly menu! My goal is to provide some tips and tricks to help YOU stay on track with a busy lifestyle

I hope to teach you about the principles of eating clean and inspire you to make some healthier changes too!

Does this sound like something you need ?

My body has been stretched over 200lbs twice . Between both being a mom , wife, and business over… I know how busy life can get .

With both my babies I developed road maps. I was so self conscious about it . I’ve always been positive on the outside but the negative self talk took over . I’ve always had my weight issues and it contributed from bloating , emotional eating , thyroid issues , stress…. everything was part of it. I didn’t know what I know now . I found a way to cope with life. I found an outlet . I’ve learned it’s not about the body. It’s about the mind .

Growing up I suffered from extreme eczema. My skin would open up, scar, and that’s that.

For the first time in my life I feel empowered, strong, and capable of anything I set my heart to. I want nothing more than for my daughter to feel that way too .

I’ve been seeing so much Mom shaming out there this week. It doesn’t make me a better mom to be a “fit mom” or a “ Pinterest mom “ All i know is that I’m a better mom because I wake up happier than I’ve ever been and I have some exciting news! Join my Busy Woman’s Guide To A Healthier Lifestyle here for some daily inspiration and tips .  I like to consider my myself a “fit/ish “ mom who has found a decent balance . These last two years I’ve grown so much and I’m a lot more patient, kind, and my stamina rocks! I’m not sluggish like I used to be . I know what foods make me feel amazing . I like shopping for clothes now and I have more energy for the little’s and my husband. I’m a lot  more intentional with my days and I love sharing it with others !

Fill out the application and I will be in contact with you! So excited!!

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Parenting With A Speech And Language Delay

These last couple of months have been such a huge stepping stone for my little man and such a huge emotional and spiritual breakthrough for myself. The biggest issue I have is how hard I am on myself as a mother  and that is something that I am working on . I find owning my truth to really help me cope.

I still remember the day I went in for my child’s psychological exam results and hearing the woman tell me that my child scored low enough to be able to diagnose him with mild intellectual delay. In my defense , I let her know that she barely knew my child and simply sat in a room with him for one hour. He was having an off day. She suggested I be OK with the diagnosis on paper in order to get my child qualified for additional services through our local regional center. I found out that this would allow my son to qualify for services for as long as he needs them.  I walked out of that office really confused and upset because I don’t believe my child is intellectually delayed. I cried a lot  and I was so confused. Yet I questioned myself because I also do not want to sound like a mom who is over reactive and in denial. Its hard to explain this to someone who has never been through it. Everyone has an opinion and all that matters is what we as parents choose to do for our child.

After giving it a few days and talking it over with my husband, we agreed to move forward with the intent of being able to get him qualified for all the services he needs. Will this affect his future? Will this be a for sure diagnosis ? Will my son be able to be mainstreamed and be in a regular school setting ? Everything was piling up in my head and to this day it still does. After asking all of the many questions we had, we decided to do whats best for our son. My son has a language and speech delay and he is the most amazing and perfect little soul. Because he is delayed in this area, he scored low in his receptive and expressive language as well. I also believe that because he was in the NICU for 5 weeks and lost a lot of oxygen , it delayed him in some areas. He didn’t have the easiest first month of life. He actually struggled to breathe many times before he was able to come home. He is so smart and understands what you tell him. I can stand there with him and have a conversation with him and he eagerly tries to express himself. I’m his momma and I am his everything. When he was a baby, I taught him a few signs and that really helped us a lot in the beginning. My son is not intellectually delayed. In fact, he is extra special and such a smart and loving child.

For the longest time I doubted that there was an issue. Boys just develop later than girls. All kids are different and grow at their own pace. The first two years of my sons life consisted of the many doctors appointments, lack of sleep, paperwork, tests, specialist visits, physical therapy, early intervention, speech therapy, and occupational therapy. I was exhausted. I still am at times . But then something just clicked.

I realized that speech and language delays are super common. I realized I needed to get myself together and stand tall. I also realized that there is a huge amount of other parents going through the same feeling I have. I have to be at my best and feel my best if I want to raise these two beautiful humans God has blessed us with. No matter how much I questioned everything, how in denial I was, how tired I was, how unhappy I felt, and how sluggish I felt, I needed to get it together for my kids. Who cares if I have to cut back on hours at the salon. Who cares if I have to have a lower paycheck so that I can be home and present with my kids. Who cares about everything else in my life. What matters is living in the moment and being here for my kids because today will eventually be the past. The minute I decided to openly talk about this, everyone had a suggestion. Everyone has an opinion.  Ultimately it comes down to you as the parent. You know whats best for your child and no one else. Your child is normal and everyone has issues. You just have to work on your issues a lot more than others.

Throughout the early stages of this journey I found my love for health and wellness. I came across a fellow mom’s positive post about how good she was feeling and I felt envious. I felt awful about myself, my body, my marriage, and I was tired of being tired all the time. That was when I drew the line in the sand. I decided to try my first fitness program, the 21 day fix. I fell in love with the results  and decided to try to pay it forward. Why not.  I never knew this was capable as I have absolutely no background in fitness other than being out of shape and wanting to be healthy. But I believe God brought me this new venture because he knows I need to feel my best and I needed a positive outlet. He knows that I can use this platform to connect with other people who have felt the same.

I started to get my life back. Then my stress and anxiety started to get so much better. I started getting results in all areas of my life. Once it became clear to me that my son was delayed in some areas, I became more aware of the many issues we were experiencing in our household and it all started to make sense. I finally let my guard down and decided to be more open about this.  The frustration was picking up and the tantrums can get really bad from the frustration. Once he gets to a certain point of frustration, its impossible to get his attention until I let him calm down. The sensory seeking became something I was now aware of and started to educate myself about. The world of sensory seeking is extremely common with kids who have extra needs.  This little guy loves to bite anything and everything. He ruined our brand new blinds with all of his teeth marks. To this day he loves to put everything in his mouth. Its a  coping mechanism. It all started to make sense and as much as I get frustrated too, I hold myself together and knee down to his level and try to put myself in his shoes. I repeat myself over and over and I ask him to do the same. It’s not his fault and its important that I tell myself that its not my fault either. I am an amazing mom to both my son and daughter. We are doing the best we can. He is making so much progress with the weekly therapy sessions and I know that we see and hear so much progress each and every week. What bothers me is when people tell me he looks normal and he is normal. Ofcourse he is normal. He just have some extra needs . He is no different. In fact, he is extra special.

This is a journey of its own and I try to remember that its important to sneak away and spend alone the time with my daughter too. I think I’m doing a really good job at that. I found out that I really love being a entrepreneur and for the longest time I was so hard on myself about this. Its ok to want to build two businesses and deal with all these issues too. I feel like I have been given this incredible platform to show other people that everything is going to be ok . I am walking proof that you can be an amazing parent, a business builder , and a good wife all at once. You can have it all . I do not believe in balance as much as before . I believe in molding it all together as much as you can though .

Health and wellness are crucial if you want to live a healthy and fulfilling life. Health is wealth. Not monetary items. I love that I am now building this incredible team of other woman who are on their own journey as well. We empower one another, life each other up, and hold each other accountable.

If you find yourself feeling sick and tired of feeling tired all the time like I did, lets talk. I would be more than happy to show you how you can start your journey too. Fill out this form https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdLcQFt3ZRiqXQdmfT5nT_9Eh3rqsvZDbttJT-MD7res-La_g/viewform?usp=sf_link and we will be in contact. No matter how hard life gets or how much you are going through, it starts with that decision to make the change for yourself. Its like that saying ” In order for things to get better, you have to be better ” and I agree.

I know that all of this is a gift and I’m so grateful. I have no idea what to do sometimes or how to even express these feelings I have. Im learning to accept what is and only change what I can change.  Writing about it and sharing helps. Deflecting my positive energy on to others helps. But I don’t expect most to understand. The journey is priceless and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m happy I get to work from home and spend the days with my children while providing an additional income . I’m looking forward to summer time and I plan on really creating some awesome memories with the kids. I’m so full of gratitude and I love my life. My daughter just graduated from  kindergarten and she is the sweetest little girl with the biggest heart,  smile,  and imagination. My son is healthy and thriving. My marriage is special and my love is so supportive and such an amazing dad. I get to wake up feeling fulfilled each day. It doesn’t get any better than this. I am blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Our Laryngomalacia Journey

To the parent who just found out their child was diagnosed with Laryngomalacia ( LM). Don’t worry if you can barely pronounce it because it took me a few tries. In no time, you will be an expert at explaining it and pronouncing it. Always know that you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why your child sounds noisy either. In  time, you will know so much about LM and you will literally be considered a LM Supermom.

Let this be the start to your journey. Never get upset or angry about it . Just embrace the journey and the changes as I have come to do.Lean into your faith and grow closer to your spouse.  Seek support, find new LM mom’s to connect with, and embrace the fact that you will be your child’s number one advocate. Most importantly, take care of your own health. Your child needs you.  A mother’s instincts are always the best. The best advice I can give is to stay as organized as possible. Become a sponge and have a special place you can keep all numbers, notes, and co pays. If you have a bad memory like me, notebooks and calendars are essential.  Listen to your child and don’t let the opinions of others get to you. You know your child more than any monitor or specialist too. Vocalize your concerns and fight for what you think is best.

It’s been quite the journey having my son Elijah. This whole experience  has given me a whole new outlook on life. Some days are harder than others but somewhere out there someone else is experiencing worse. It’s changed me for the better.  My son was born with an airway defect called laryngomalacia . Laryngomalacia is a congenital softening of the tissues of the larynx (voice box) above the vocal cords. This is the most common cause of noisy breathing in infancy. The laryngeal structure is malformed and floppy, causing the tissues to fall over the airway opening and partially block it. I remember it sounding way worse than it really was. Now at the age of 3, I can still hear it after he exerts himself or he is under the weather.

For most infants, laryngomalacia is not a serious condition — they have noisy breathing, but are able to eat and grow. For these infants, laryngomalacia will resolve without surgery by the time they are 18 to 20 months old. However, a small percentage of babies with laryngomalacia do struggle with breathing, eating and gaining weight. These symptoms require prompt attention.

Our first year felt like a blur to me. I remember how it felt to barely sleep after having our first child and I felt prepared  to take on having a newborn at home with a 3 year old . The constant dr visits and specialist visits felt never ending. Looking back, I realize having a baby with LM truly teaches you the meaning of lack of sleep all while cherishing every breath we take. I have learned to live in the moment and take everything one day at a time.  I remember never sleeping  because my husband and I were always so worried about choking and blue spells. He was in the NICU for 5 weeks after birth and he suffered many episodes where he lost oxygen and his heart rate would drop. I truly believe whole heartedly that this is the reason he has been delayed in some areas. He had a rough start. Every day I thank God for these two amazing and beautiful children he blessed us with.

I was fortunate enough to find the Tri County Regional Services when my son was just 1 years old. The NICU Occupational Therapist referred me to them because she felt as though my child was at a higher risk for developmental delays upon doing a follow up assessment. At the time, I remember getting super defensive and thinking how could she possibly think that if my son was only 1 years old . All kids develop on their own pace. That was the start to our therapy intervention journey. Since then, my son has received early intervention services, speech therapy, physical therapy, behavioral therapy, and occupational therapy. It sounds like a lot more than it really is. We have become so used to it and his therapist have truly been a blessing in our lives. You truly start to feel like you lose the friends you thought were your true friends, you lose your free time, and you just want to spend any free time you have alone with no one but yourself. There is no free time. There is just ” gaps ” of time . Upon my own research and the laryngomalacia community, I have found that there is an extremely high percentage of children who need speech and early intervention services. Its hard to estimate whether or not the child will need it. But its also noted that most children outgrow LM by the age of 3. Id like to say that my son has almost outgrown it except he’s super susceptible to illness and stridor.

Id like to tell you when the journey is over but I truly don’t know when. We are ending this transitional phase from Tri County to the school district services. I knew this month would be hard but not as hard as it’s been. Im a walking emotional wreck. But I feel so blessed at the same time. Here in California, the Regional Center offers these amazing services to children under the age of three. We as parents get the opportunity to have our children assessed by a phsychologist to find out whether or not any type of intellectual disability or autism is present. My son did so well during his last 6 months of services. All of his therapists reports were great. We have all seen tremendous improvement. But I was completely blindsided by the psychologists’ results. In her report , she stated that it’s essential my child continue to qualify for services through the regional center to maximize intervention services. She is not diagnosing my child with anything as he is only the age of 3 years old. But in order to provide my son with the services he needs, she suggest a diagnosis of Mild Intellectual Disability. Let me make it clear that I enjoy sharing this journey with you. Not so anyone can judge me or give me their opinion, but simply as an outlet for me. I find documenting our journey and taking care of my health essential. Its important I hold myself together and my workouts keep me sane.  I have met many  amazing mothers on this journey and don’t believe in judging other mom’s. Every child is different. Every mom is different. Every marriage is different. I share my truth and believe its the right thing I can do to keep myself healthy. There is no book on how to do this the right way. All that matters is the love we give our children. I enjoy the fact that I feel living life one day at a time is best. I cherish every moment and sometimes forget too. I don’t like to compare my first with my second child nor do I like when my anxiety kicks in because I second guess myself. Its the worst. But in my heart I know that Im the best mom I can be for these amazing children. Im doing the best I can.

The day these results were given to me caught me completely off guard. I feel as though Im trapped in a ” damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation” . I have so many questions written down for my Regional Coordinator. I have to be completely honest and just say that I don’t want to be selfish and say that my son doesn’t need additional services. I will continue to give him the services he needs through an outside facility. But then that voice in my head tells me that my insurance will quickly run out and I will benefit from both private and services from the school district and agency. I have to do whats best for my child . Having that diagnosis on paper for coverage reasons just doesn’t settle right with my heart.

My baby is such a light. He is so bright, outgoing, loving, friendly, and such a sweetheart. He loves his sister, he loves people, and he is truly a blessing. Opting out of the opportunity to continue services that have provided him amazing resources would be a selfish thing of me to do. My fears, worries, and defensiveness feel like they have been compiled into one. I have to continue to remind myself over and over that we are doing whats best for him. He will benefit from this. This might not be forever. He will outgrow this .He is bright and perfect the way he is.

What does this hold for his future? I don’t know. Will this title be carried with him when he starts elementary school? I don’t know yet. Is my child on the spectrum? I don’t think he is. Will he catch up and increase his vocabulary? Im so positive that he will. Will my child have the opportunity to be mainstreamed in regular classes ? I sure hope so. This new journey has given me a whole new outlook. I have to choose to do whats best for my child. I have to take care of myself too. I need to keep strong and focused now more than ever . I am him advocate. I will do everything in my power to make sure my baby gets what he needs. I will ensure that he is remaining challenges and he hits his goals too. I will continue to walk into this path of new uncertainty and I trust that God knows whats best for our family. I will educate myself on as much as I need to know and trust our decisions along the way.

So a new journey begins.

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