This last weekend was amazing. I had the best experience going on vacation with my husband and had some time to really catch up on my thoughts and talk the future with my husband.
For one, I haven’t had time to really blog as much much as I’d like. Between my new role as a Girl Scout Leader and juggling both of my businesses, there hasn’t been time for much. On top of that, being a mom and wife is a full time job of its own. I am so incredibly blessed . I’ve realized that I just need to write. I need to write my heart out and share the good, bad, and the ugly. It helps with clarity and knowing it can inspire or relate to someone is just so incredible .
For one, I do a lot . Why? I don’t know. I’m such an over-achiever , I know. I like to consider myself extremely self driven and motivated to chase after what I want. I love doing it all. Everything I do , I do with love and I lead with my living a grateful heart . When things get tough, I fall and get back up. I try to not stress too much about the month or weeks ahead.
Our trip to Cancun was amazing. It meant everything to bring my husband to this trip. For one, we deserve our time together. My marriage is a priority. Seems like both of us are just trying to achieve our goals and provide for the babies. I do not want time to pass and wonder why my marriage fell apart.
I have learned that nothing in life is ever guaranteed. There was a time I completely lost myself though. I thought I had it all together and figured out. I thought I had this mom job under control. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. It had nothing to do with me . But my mom is my everything. I’m an only child. She IS my person . My world changed. I changed.
All I wanted was to feel good and have an outlet aside from this new relationship I was trying to have with the Lord. Work became just work . My thyroid was out of wack. I was a mess. No more. After experiencing my postpartum depression , I realized that I was in charge and I needed to do something.
I’ve learned that God only puts things in our lives that he knows we can handle. Sometimes we don’t know why. I feel my lesson to this day was to learn to have faith, let go, and let God do his work .I am a control freak. Learning that I am not in control has done wonders for me. That’s sad right? I do not practice any type of religion yet I’m super spiritual in many ways.
God sent me my babies to make me a better person. Wow. Not a coincidence at all right ?
My mission is to inspire other extra needs moms who have struggled with self doubt and show them that change is possible. Perfection is a joke. Its ok to fall and have a pity party for a few minutes. But with struggle comes strength .